The search for true love is one of the greatest quests in life. Building a relationship with someone is an incredible experience, but it inevitably comes with challenges and difficulties to overcome.
One of the country’s leading motivational speakers and life coaches, Pete Cohen, has helped thousands of people with his energy, enthusiasm, and effectiveness, allowing them to fine-tune themselves mentally, emotionally and physically.
Here, Pete shares with us his seven secrets to finding true love:
1. Find someone who lets you be who you are
In a loving relationship, you should accept the other person for who they are – both the good and the bad.
If your partner continually tries to change your behaviour, it is a sign that they don’t love you for who you are. No one is perfect and we all have flaws, but true love should be unconditional.
You know it’s a good sign if your partner not only accepts, but appreciates your imperfections!
2. Separate love and lust
The beginning of a relationship is full of passion and excitement as you get to know each other, but inevitably this begins to fade over time. In a truly loving relationship, this initial rush will gradually be replaced by closeness and intimacy, which you will ultimately find even more rewarding.
Of course, it’s a great thing to enjoy new experiences together as variety is the spice of life! Relationships continually change over time, and communication is key to making sure you are both happy with where the relationship is heading.
3. Understand you are different people
It’s human instinct to expect people to behave in a similar way to us, and become frustrated when they do something entirely different to what we would have done in a similar situation.
Each of us have an entirely different outlook on life, with different hopes, fears, opinions and feelings. Rather than forcing your own beliefs on your partner, it’s important that you accept each other for who they are.
You will both be going into the relationship with baggage and insecurities but by acknowledging this, you will discover that you get the best out of each other
4. Treat your relationship like a business
This might sound like a strange one, but some of the practices of running a successful business can be transferred onto a relationship. When running a business, you need to establish your goals and take stock regularly to make sure you are heading in the right direction.
It’s important to talk about your relationship on a regular basis, both the things you are happy with and your concerns. Never underestimate the value of relationship "housekeeping"!
5. Always make time for each other
In an increasingly busy world with so many other commitments, it may become difficult to spend the time together that you need.
The message that "we can have it all" – a great job, relationship, family, friends, hobbies, regular holidays – is a nice one in principle, but unfortunately, it’s extremely difficult to manage your time, and some aspects of your life end up suffering.
If you spend less time together, it becomes more likely that you will begin to grow apart. Try to set aside some time each week where you can be together and escape from the rest of the world.
6. Accept there will always be challenges
In life, there will always be obstacles that you need to overcome. Rather than taking out your frustrations on your partner, you will find problems become easier when you deal with them together.
Of course there will be arguments, but try to express how you’re feeling rather than bottling things up and letting resentments grow. The advice that I always give is never go to sleep on an argument! Whatever life throws at you, be there for your partner, no matter what.
7. Laugh together
Discovering someone who can make you laugh is one of the defining factors that people think about when searching for true love. A loving relationship is supposed to make you happy, and it’s important to not take everything too seriously.
Obviously some situations require you to deal with them head on, but you should always take time to take pleasure in each other’s company.
True love should be rewarding, exciting and life-affirming. Obviously all relationships are unique, but these seven steps will hopefully give you some guidelines to finding the true love that we all search for during our lives.